Expectations in relationships.
Expectations are developed from our experiences, the family we are born into, and examples from t.v., internet, music, books and other media.
People often express disappointment with their relationships when you hear statements like, “He doesn’t really love me because he doesn’t …” or “She doesn’t act like a wife is supposed to”. Even in parent/child relationships the parents declare “In my day I would never have done…”
All of the above statements indicate an unfulfilled expectation in our relationships. Unfulfilled expectations lead to unhappiness, frustration and even anger. The dangers of unfulfilled expectations often lead to estranged relationships, loneliness or remaining in long term relationships that create an environment for contempt and placing blame.
So the question lies in what is the solution to this widespread issue?
In order to identify the solution the issue will need to be addressed. What is the expectation and from where did it originate? For example, has your education about relationships come from the lovey dovey girlie girl sweep you off of your feet Prince Charming on a white horse? If so, you may be constantly waiting to be rescued and face disappointment with yourself and blame your significant other for lacking in the superhero department.
This is an example of how the media affects our psyche, our relationships and how we know, think and decide.
Also, we all come from somewhere. We have a place called home and people who were given to us to call family. Now whether or not they are still there, how well they raised you, or how involved they are does not negate the fact that everyone originates from somewhere and a couple of someones. The way in which our original families operate creates an expectation on how we expect others to behave, particularly in close relationships with our spouses and children.
So now that we know why, we can address how.
The more you know ;)…
This blog is not to replace any type of counseling and the writer is not acting in capacity of the reader’s therapist. For more information please contact a local counselor or visit the resources page to identify a counselor in your area.